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HEARTBOUND

by Lax Diamond

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1.
"let us end this chapter with a big bang" i was nervous like a kid before the first kiss when I drove my dads mustang with the cleaned up shoes and the brand new suit that suddenly fits a man and your long black dress and your gold necklace and that smile i could watch ’til the end i felt your heart racing, your hand shaking in mine wanted to capture the moment, forever stopping the time and the world didn't seem so unfair when the sound of your voice became my favorite song we were standing at the edge of what's to come let's stay young forever and act like we've nothing to lose let's grow old together and tell our kids stories from our youth and we danced like we never ever danced before closed eyes, lips collided, the fire burned in my heart and the sun comes up, we’re still awake let’s forget about how everything will change time flies us by and we’re dancing in the rain and we're losing us to find ourselves my dearest friend, when will I see you again back home, back in the days, back when we were more than this photograph? back when we said that we'll never forget the lines of our favorite tracks tasting the first drop of liquor on your tongue feeling the first misery after the relationship went wrong first inhale, first cough, always broke at the start of the month long nights, lost loves - it’s what made us who we are we learned to take the fall, learned how to get up again taught to stand tall, even if you'd feel the fear in our hands we wrote our dreams in the sky, started building a plane and heard applause when we closed our eyes in the rain and the sun comes up, we’re still awake let’s forget about how everything will change time flies us by and we’re dancing in the rain sounds of freedom, the anthems of our youth you'll never win a fight if you don't risk to lose and every single scar I carry is a work of art i'm chasing memories down the pavement to the place I left my heart and the sun comes up, we’re still awake let’s forget about how everything will change time flies us by and we’re dancing in the rain
2.
Thunder 03:13
close your eyes and breath feel the water beneath your feet if the sound of the waves means freedom then let the ocean speak and we could be boundless carried by the wind, we could be groundless kings and queens with green dreams and crownless and we'll live the longest and laugh the loudest just say you wanna leave, i’ll be the first who got the keys the fresh air of the sea is everything you ever need with the top down, radio turned loud driving closer to the sun, all we have is right now no compass, no plans - the road is written in our hands and wherever we go, the footprint stays in the sand let remorse fade with the swell and if we ever come back, we got a story to tell run deep, run wild, don’t stop you don't need a compass when you follow your heart and our feelings are thunder we're free and our feelings are thunder we draw our hearts in the sand so firm that it can not be perished and with a love so deep I swear, the ocean would be jealous crystal clear skies, cherish the moonlight counting stars singing campfire lullabies and every kiss feels honest like a goodbye how she sends shivers down my spine, it's a good life Let’s hang onto the clouds, watch the world pass by catch the beauty of the moment, let our colors come to life don't ask what could have been, we can do everything like bonnie and clyde, from heart to limb dance under the summer rain like nobody is watching love like you've never been hurt, live like tomorrow isn't coming let remorse fade with the swell and if we ever come back, we got a story to tell run deep, run wild, don’t stop you don't need a compass when you follow your heart and our feelings are thunder we're free and our feelings are thunder run deep, run wild the gras is always greener on the other side run free, live life and never come back ’til the end of time run deep, run wild, don’t stop you don't need a compass when you follow your heart and our feelings are thunder we're free and our feelings are thunder
3.
seems like we fell in love to fall apart just to pick up all the pieces and go right back to the start but how lang can we carry heavy hearts before we hit the ground so we can never get back up? we took a shot in the dark but the dark didn't leave planted a seed in the dirt, now we're burning down the whole tree protested with open arms, kicked us with tired feet we're preaching all or nothing, but living somewhere in between see the love that I have so much love, it made a good man turn bad i was too loud to understand a word i said when I look into the mirror, i see someone else, it’s clear I lost myself i don't know who you are when you sleep in his bed and i don't know who i am when you're still inside my head i don't know who we are to believe we're perfect when everybody sees that we don't deserve that all i know is love but is love really enough? who knows?! all i wanted was trust but I never felt this lost, you know? do you know?! what’s up comes down, am i flying or falling? and time runs out, should i wait for nothing? this love is killing me, i need to find some sleep this love is killing me, and here we go again every night, cigarettes and wine cheated once, cheated twice, how can we pretend we're fine? tell me that you need me, tell yourself a lie because what's the right one when it's not the right time? we're scared to be alone, scared of the unknown so we rather take the blame than to lose what feels like home the ship sinks but the band is playing our song line after line and i wish that they could stop see the love that you have so much love, it made a good girl turn bad and now it's hard to find comfort in your bed when the pillow still has the print of his head, i can't sleep where he slept why are we still here when we should learn from mistakes? and if home is where the heart is, is our love an empty place? and we're stuck in this cycle, death or revival? anyways I turn psycho so for what is this case? all i know is love but is love really enough? who knows?! all i wanted was trust but I never felt this lost, you know? do you know?! what’s up comes down, am i flying or falling? and time runs out, should i wait for nothing? this love is killing me, i need to find some sleep this love is killing me, and here we go again over and over again we’re running in circles hate to say that i told you so but I told you so just to let you know over and over again we’re running in circles hate to say that i told you so but I told you so and it's better if we let go
4.
what is love but a four letter restriction? a sickness, a harmful addiction i witnessed all of the affliction standing in the quicksand, doubting my conviction pictures been taken, pictures been framed and then all of the pictures been broken and all once again pages been written, pages been burned and then all of the pages been rewritten, when will we ever learn? wanted to bring you the moon but cut my fingers on the stars and if love means joy maybe it's not meant for us if your love is my drug, i better go to rehab ’cause nothing in my life left more scars than what we had i'll never let you go‘, now i got broken hands i went through hell and back and all that's left are broken legs broken ribs and a damaged head, i’m nothing more than a broken man hard for me to believe but I will learn to love again, i guess… i lost the feel for the moment as you were turning the tides starting waves of loneliness carry away the sands of time feels like I'm hellbound, feels like I'm held down the brightest sun just burned out, now i’m having a meltdown they say 'the higher you get, the harder you fall' I already hit the ground and I feel nothing at all we turn cold when the heart can't take no more when trust is gone, everyone's a wolf at your door we gave and we gave, we gave us so much we gave us everything and then we broke all our trust and then we gave and we gave, we gave us too much still we gave and we gave till we gave up on us and i see how our colors turn to silhouettes familiar eyes but a foreign glance and the mirror that once pictured us is nothing more than shattered glass shattered chest, cut my breath put my head in a plastic bag and the shattered pieces won't believe us when we say the past is dead you are the tears I left my youth for i never thought it would end like this how can i forget the bitter taste of your kiss when the poison hit my lips and her touch comes close? love, please let me go…
5.
Phoenix 04:38
i came too far to give up on me and wounds heal as the time leaves i rearrange the puzzle to get a new piece i won't let one wrong undo all the right things new beginnings, new me cast off, I send this vessel free i'm breaking out, i'm no longer in between open up my eyes and i rise like a phoenix the fear of falling shouldn't take the dream of flying the amount of defeats shouldn't lower the will of trying when you're alone with your demons and nobody hears you screaming then there's no option but fighting i'm not afraid to stand for what i believe even if that means i'll be standing alone and i’m not afraid to get up and fight for my dreams ’cause without passion we are only flesh and bones running and running, up and away things won't be better tomorrow if you don't start to make 'em better today i won't wait to waste away and if home is a feeling, i will find another place i start where i am, i use what i have i do what i can, hope will always be left i leave the compass at home the wind will take me wherever my soul belongs straight from the fire to the open skies from the deepest depths to the highest highs i come alive from the oceanground to the moon wherever i belong, i'll be coming soon i come alive for too long I walked around with the fear to end up like a soldier who died before his cheer until i realize i can't call it a life when i live 75 times the same year i won't watch the clock, i will do it does i'll proceed and promise i will never stop i'm not moving on to look back, i'm moving on to leave behind and I swear i won't lose track, not one more fucking time i keep going when i'm going through hell ’cause I wanna say that i made it before I say farewell it's hard to persist being in search of yourself in times where everybody wants to be somebody else, but here i am find a way or i'll make one, build a wall when the flood comes i'm not afraid, there's no turning back and i learned from my wrongs rise up from the ashes, learn to forgive spread my wings and prosper, fly away and learn to live straight from the fire to the open skies from the deepest depths to the highest highs i come alive from the oceanground to the moon wherever i belong, i'll be coming soon i come alive

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heartbound

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released November 1, 2015

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Lax Diamond Hamburg, Germany

heartbound // 2015

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